COMING OFF TRANQUILLIZERS: LAURA’S STORY

Posted on Tuesday, April 21st, 2009 at 5:17 am

Laura began to suffer from depression when she suspected that her husband was being unfaithful to her. He said she was imagining things and should see a doctor. Her GP agreed she was depressed and sent her to a psychiatrist who, after talking to (and believing) her husband, told her that her problems were due to an unhappy childhood, and that she needed psychotherapy. Laura accepted this, although her doubts about her husband persisted.

Two years later, her sister-in-law told the psychiatrist that Laura’s suspicions about her husband were correct. But by then Laura had been prescribed a range of antidepressants and tranquillizers, had had electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), and had become convinced that she was a mentally sick person. Her psychiatrist’s diagnosis was to haunt her for many years. A painful divorce followed and due to the periods which Laura had spent as an inpatient, care and custody of her children was given to her ex-husband.

The next ten years Laura describes as ‘living in a void’. Although she tried to build a new life for herself, and discharged herself from the psychiatrists’ care, she was prescribed the same drugs by her GP. Because of her efforts to give them up, and not understanding her physical dependence on them, she went in and out of withdrawal as her medication was changed or suspended.

Although before her marriage she had never suffered from anxiety, she now complained of phobias, insomnia, stomach discomforts, eye problems and skin rashes. She had little contact with her children and often wondered if her psychiatrist had been right about her. Her medical record read like a disaster, describing her as ‘neurotic’, unable to cope with life, and ‘possibly schizophrenic’. Eventually her prescriptions for Valium and Mogadon were handed to her by her doctor’s receptionist with no review or consultation.

Two years ago, her sister-in-law intervened again and persuaded her that her pills could be the main cause of her present condition and took her to a tranquillizer withdrawal group. She checked with her GP and he said there was no reason why she should continue with the drugs if she did not want to.

Laura was impatient to finish her drugs, and came off them more rapidly than she was advised. Her withdrawal was ‘a nightmare’, but she was also very excited by it because she was experiencing emotions that she had not felt for years. Symptoms that she had experienced over the years worsened, and new ones appeared, but with group support she continued. She became aggressive and hostile. Her restlessness and alternating agoraphobia and claustrophobia increased until she was staying first with one friend and then another, packing her bags every few days to move on again.

Fear of riding in cars (her lack of co-ordination and judgement had relegated her to the passenger seat), nightmares, hallucinations, constant throbbing headaches, heightened perception, and all the time the nagging fear that she was either mad, or the victim of a serious physical illness, made life hell.

As the symptoms eased and the depression lifted, Laura saw that her problems started with her first misdiagnosis. She learned to ‘let go’ of the sadness of the past and have hope about the future. It is a great joy to her that she sees more of her children who now see her as a ‘real’ person, and are impressed that she has a full-time job.

Her image of herself as a sick person has gone.

During the years that Laura was dependent on the benzodiazepines she had investigations for suspected ulcer, heart disease, skin rashes, dry eye problems, and arthritis. None of the tests proved positive and since she has come through withdrawal all the symptoms have gone.

She now looks forward to being a grandmother, has found that her old interest in photography is still there, and has joined her local historical society.

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